Acquistions, Australian

We’re still waiting on Flickr’s monthly upload limits to refresh, so in the meantime I offer up an update on some recent acquisitions made on behalf of the J. Harlen Bretz Collection of Crass Condiments & Sundry Gustatory Anguishes.

Four pieces are being inducted today, all courtesy of the Australian’s preeminent freedom funker, Viper Pilot.1

Teeny Tiny Tabasco on Flickr

370 mL of Tabasco?

Nope. This wee-est of bottles is actually not even 37 mL, but just 3.7 mL of Avery Island’s finest.

While any and all of tha’ Pilot’s actions are of course highly classified, I can confess that this is only the second of such bottles that I’ve spotted in the wild. The first was contained in an MRE intended for volunteers at the Salt Lake City Olympic Games.

While it is standard practice for the current curator to partake of every sauce entered into the Collection, this bottle may well go unopened.


From left: a jar of Mike’s “Market Special,” Chillie Willies’ “Smack my Arse and Call me Cindy” Pepper Sauce, and Chillie Willies’ “Aussie Ring Stinger” Pepper Sauce.

Mike’s “Market Special” is both the first small batch and the first domestic entry into the Collection. He graciously emailed me personally with details of its genesis; a partial ingredients list included bird’s eye chillies, cayenne, onion, garlic, tomatoes, and possibly brown sugar. I thought it all the more rad when I read that some of the ingredients were homegrown. Mike suggested that it might be better after a year at the back of the cupboard, so it will be a few months before the board will be able to provide a proper report.

While I might not quite label them “9/10” in terms of bringing the heat, both Chillie Willies sauces pack a good amount of kick and flavour. Their titles alone serve well in maintaining the long-term crassness that has become one of the hallmarks of the Collection.

[For more information on these or other sauces in the Collection, or to make a donation yourself, you are kindly invited to read posts tagged with “The J.H.B.C. of C.C. & S.G.A.” or see the Collection’s main page.]

1. Since our meeting at exchange point DF/99 over two months ago, Viper Pilot has gone on to release an exemplary third track and had a mashup featured in a weekly podcast/radio show.


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