The Truth About Viper Pilot

Not only am I ashamed for leaving Viper Pilot off the of list of my current favourite 100 music acts, I am also incredibly humbled that Viper Pilot chose my blog as the staging ground for his upcoming aural assault upon an otherwise unsuspecting planet Earth.

While I would urge everyone to visit Viper Pilot’s page and download his smoove Busta Rhymes/Fatback Band/Daft Punk mashup, I feel I must also come to Viper Pilot’s defense, especially in light of recent criticisms from certain outlets of mass media (particularly the neo-con, capitalist agenda of Fox News).

You’ve come here for the truth, so let’s get our facts perfectly straight here:

  • While his previous articles have called into question the cultural value of America’s real heroes in light of the moral uncertainties of the 21st century, Viper Pilot has not once publicly stated that he is anti-American.
  • The purported photographs “demonstrating” that Viper Pilot’s Attack Glider was seen in the vicinity of the White House on September 11, 2001 have been conclusively debunked as hoaxes, fabricated by individuals with known ties to the NSA.
  • There was and is absolutely no romantic association to be made between Viper Pilot and the Baroness Anastasia DeCobray. Nothing could be further from the truth, as in actuality, Viper Pilot is happily married to a wonderful woman from the opposite side of the world as Europe and the Baroness.
  • Viper Pilot’s connections to COBRA are tenuous, as best. Aside from this, most educated individuals remain to this day unconvinced regarding President Bush’s baseless dismissal of this international non-governmental lobbying group as a “ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world.”
  • Yes, Viper Pilot’s first album is going to be financed by James McCullen Destro XXIV. So what? Much like the late John Peel, Mr. Destro (a known philanthropist) has demonstrated a keen interest in promoting fresh talent and bringing their artistic works to a wider public audience.

I genuinely hope that this has cleared up any misconceptions you might have had regarding Viper Pilot and his growing body of work. Please visit his website today, download his first song, and take a stand for freedom.

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5 Comments

Filed under Music

5 responses to “The Truth About Viper Pilot

  1. filthy rich

    you know, you say Viper Pilot, and all I think is Cobra… tenuous connections or not… I think Viper Pilot’s connections to Cobra are kept tenuous-seeming on purpose.

    I mean, remember the one where they got inside Shipwreck’s head and created a whole fantasy universe around him to try to get him to reveal information? I say the website is a hoax, a cover… though the Busta Stop is quite amusing… extensive enterprises strikes again…

  2. *makes with the shifty eyes*

    “Frogs in winter.”

  3. Let me tell you, children of the future, it is a hard enough road, to ride the front of the impending sonic wave that will soon engulf us all, without the base and untrue allegations of what passes for ‘mass media’ in this day and age.

    I stand here, proud and ready to fight for the musical future – and PAST – of each and every being on this planet. Those kill markers on the side of the Viper? Well, you don’t get those in cereal boxes – but someone has to do this job.

    Chad’s fierce defense of the hard work being done on the flight deck is a shining example of the kind of support that I will need to carry on the good fight. And a funky good fight it is. Rock on, bitches.

  4. I feel it prudent to point out that Viper Pilot’s post immediately above was the 187th comment made on this blog.

    Word.

  5. If only it had been the 1337th post.

    Word!

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