‘Sup, n00bs?

So, what did you do last night? Probably a little WoW, right? (Lawl. Like WoW is a real game. Lawl.) Maybe you were trying out some FPS strats, when some guy was coming around a corner, and you were all, “BOOM! HEADSHOT!!!” Or maybe, for some reason, you think you have micro? (Lawl.) You almost certainly don’t, but you think you do, so you were trying to play an RTS?

If you were up to any of these things, you might have actually had a chance at winning some online play. No, not because you got any better. Your odds improved simply because the quality of competition dropped, if only for a night. One magical night when the city of Vancouver was blessed with the presence of the the greatest gamer your planet has ever known. That’s right, the star of Pure Pwnage, teh_pwnerer himself–Jeremy.

Oh, fps_doug was here, too. And Kyle, I guess, but he’s not really a gamer? From a makeshift n00bstore at Granville 7 Cinemas, they hawked their wares to a nearly packed house. They played a DVD quality version of episode 11 on the big screen. Prizes were awarded for an über-micro contest, as well as a “BOOM! HEADSHOT!!!” contest¹ But all that was secondary to seeing, perhaps meeting, and maybe somehow even touching the pwnerer. Well that, or the World Premiere² of no less than the final episode of the first season of Pure Pwnage. Clocking in at 47 minutes, it is epic in every sense of the word. I’ll resist the urge to post spoilers and merely assure you that it is worth these last few months of wait. If you’re in or around Toronto, I think there’s an upcoming screening, and regardless or where you are, it will be available for download soon. Besides, the later you see it, the less time you’ll have to wait for first episode of season two…

My first phone cam pic

1. Won by–I swear–a five year old girl. So cute. So lethal.
2. You might have read that the first screening happened in Calgary a few days ago. Whatever. There are two points of contention you have to consider here. First, Calgary is a city made up of total n00bs. Second… MY BALLS.[Apologies to anyone who understands neither the tone nor the content of this post, but it’s most certainly meant in jest. Especially the anatomical bits. It won’t happen again. Promise. Now, if you’re a gamer and you still didn’t understand the content, it’s certainly not too late to download past episodes and catch up on the Pwnage.]



Filed under Gaming (Video or otherwise), The story so far

2 responses to “‘Sup, n00bs?

  1. I should have mentioned it in the post itself, but credit for the assist (i.e. introducing me to Pure Pwnage this summer) goes to the Tiny Thorax Man.
    Please note that while he has taken up sport since moving Down Under, blooming into rather a beefcake, he should still UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES not be shaken.

  2. Mitch "Tiny Thorax" Haggman


    I’ve been on sports hiatus since moving to the big city. It probably has something to do with more cultural events in my life – it’s very easy to spend three days of your week training for and playing AFL when you live in a country town.

    Also, you bitches are all n00bs.

    I have no idea if those above hyperlinks will work. Here’s to testing on the production environment!

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